the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
