Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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