There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
