I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I FOUND THE LEGS
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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