Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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