i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
