Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
