you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
