escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
