Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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