I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
