I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
