By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
