are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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