I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Randomize
