none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize