This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
