It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Just puked most of my soul out..
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
