THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
