wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
