Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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