Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
