hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
