The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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