I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
