drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize