i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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