I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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