Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
