i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
