I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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