Don't you send me to vm
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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