I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
