i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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