Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
