we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
