dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
