Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
