I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
