I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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