Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Randomize
