In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
