How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
