I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
