So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
