I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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