Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize