Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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