My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
