My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I believe in your delicious
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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