do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
should my penis look like a turkey
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
