So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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