This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize