I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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