Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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