Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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