I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
