I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Randomize
