My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I want a musical about memes.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
