I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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