i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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