Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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