All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
it's like iHOP with fire
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
How does it feel to date your dad?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
