You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Randomize
