If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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