Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
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