I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
