He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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