well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
