Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
This is my life. Enjoy the view
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
