My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
