Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
