I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Randomize