You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize