I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize