Define "chronic" masturbator.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
